Hello, I'm Jeff, and I probably don't know your username- and I don't want to.

Knowing your username (and passwords, PINs, and all other related personal data) is a grown-up responsibility, just like:

1. Personal hygiene
2. Knowing your phone number
3. Being courteous

We have these responsibilities as a part of our society, in part to create a semblance of 'organization' or maybe even 'structure' in the world, but also because we know that they are necessary things that must be done, or else be deemed a nonconformist!

Just as a  member of society who chooses not to bathe would be considered strange to us, so should the individual who chooses to not remember their username.

Guess what? We all have usernames to remember. One can hardly pay a utility bill, or look up something online without a username. One's username is such a CRUCIAL part of their identity (online or offline), and is just as important as their first and last name.

'What's my username?' is an idiom you'll see used often on this page.

This page has both serious and comedic tones, and a large part of the comedy is derived from a dry and sarcastic, deadpan-style sense of humor that some people may find offensive or distasteful.


But on a serious note- don't you agree that we've got more than enough real problems going on in the world right now, and we don't need people to look for more things to be offended by? ESPECIALLY things that aren't even about them, directed at them, or have any bearing on their lives?

Deep down inside, I am a good person- perhaps even a 'nice guy'- so please don't take anything on this page personally. (I'm getting soft with age, I guess) Unless your name is specifically mentioned, THIS IS NOT DIRECTED AT YOU, nor is it WRITTEN ABOUT YOU. There may be occasions that I do write about specific people, and if I do, they probably asked me something like,  "WHAT'S MY USERNAME?" to earn that spotlight.

(Except you, Mom- you can ask me that whenever you want, because you're my Mom, and I love you!)